# Laws Of Computers



## rjmoses (Apr 4, 2010)

After being involved with computers for 50 years (my first, well, second after fingers and toes, was an abacus), I have come up with two fundamental laws of computers:

First law of computers: No matter how much time you allow, it always takes twice as much time if everything goes right.

Second law: Nothing ever goes right the first time.

Third law: Computer don't always do what you want, but do what you tell them to do.

Fourth Law: And they never do what we tell them to do anyway. (Kinda like spouses).

Ralph


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## mlappin (Jun 25, 2009)

I still find it much faster to do some things with good ole pen and paper.


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## DohrmannEnt (Nov 23, 2010)

Ralph, done forget that electronics have planned obsolescence. I am waiting to see how all the new equipment will hold up and how long service will be available due to all the electronic systems and sensors.


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## r82230 (Mar 1, 2016)

mlappin said:


> I still find it much faster to do some things with good ole pen and paper.


Let's not forget the hammer/chisel or just a stick scratching in the dirt. I didn't say drawing on your cap, but I have seen a picture of that, it appears already well covered, with no room for anymore marks. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Larry


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## mlappin (Jun 25, 2009)

DohrmannEnt said:


> Ralph, done forget that electronics have planned obsolescence. I am waiting to see how all the new equipment will hold up and how long service will be available due to all the electronic systems and sensors.


I'm actually quite happy with my Mac mini, have had it over three years now and none of the typical PC problems.


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## luke strawwalker (Jul 31, 2014)

rjmoses said:


> After being involved with computers for 50 years (my first, well, second after fingers and toes, was an abacus), I have come up with two fundamental laws of computers:
> 
> First law of computers: No matter how much time you allow, it always takes twice as much time if everything goes right.
> 
> ...


AMEN and amen...

I have to laugh... the more "labor saving" devices we get, the more f***ed up things get and the longer they seem to take.

Like these new friggin' "chip cards" that the bank MADE me switch to. I was perfectly happy with my plain old "swipe" debit card that was working PERFECTLY and that I'd been carrying in my wallet for the last 10 years. I'm in Indiana planting on the BIL's place and my wife calls me one day, the bank called her and wondered why I hadn't activated the new chip card they sent to the house (in Texas). They pointed out it had to be activated (which smokes the old one) within a week or my old card wouldn't work anymore. She told them I was 1200 miles away and to NOT turn the old one off because I needed it for gas, grub, and motel on the way home-- I'd activate the new one when I got back. SO, they did leave it be that long, anyway. Silly sumbitches turned the friggin' card off on my last year at one point-- showed charges on my card in Indiana, so I had to use the credit card (which we only use for emergencies). She had to call and convince them that yeah, that was me, in Indiana, buying gas and greasy burgers... Idiot banks will let some yahoo charge a $20,000 RV on your account but have a fit if you buy a tank of gas and some burgers out of state?? Morons...

Anyway, I activate the new card because the bank's flipping out by the time I got home 10 days later, and now I go into Walmart or TSC or whatever and instead of swiping my card and telling them "run it as credit" and stuffing it back in my wallet, grab the receipt, and head out the door, I have to shove the frigging card up the @ss end of the machine, sit there twiddling my thumbs while the stupid thing does whatever it's doing, and then play 20 questions with the stupid computer... AND punch in my friggin PIN number on every damn machine in the country in front of whatever yahoo scumbag happens to be standing within 20 feet. They CAN'T "run it as credit" anymore because the machine won't accept it.

I got SO PO'd the other day because when the clerk TRIED to "run it as credit" the computer shat itself and kicked the transaction out THREE TIMES before she finally just voided the entire sale and rang it up again and I had to shove the card up the machine's @ss AGAIN and punch in all the bullshite it wanted and it FINALLY rang up the friggin' jar of grape jelly I was trying to buy for a peanut butter sandwich.

Bout ready to take that new card into the bank and tell them to shove it in their backside slot SIDEWAYS and light it on fire... [email protected] thing is absolutely worthless now. Just go back to getting a couple hundred in cash out of the bank and keeping it in the wallet all the time and pay with greenbacks... SCREW THEM AND THEIR STUPID COMPUTER CHIP CARD.

You tell me how punching your number in every friggin place in the world and having a flippin chip-card in your wallet that any yahoo with an ebay chip reader can scan from 10 feet away without you knowing it is MORE secure?? Especially when the friggin card is now FIVE TIMES HARDER to use??

What do you call 100,000 bankers at the bottom of the ocean?? A GOOD START!!!!!

Later! OL J R


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## rjmoses (Apr 4, 2010)

luke strawwalker said:


> What do you call 100,000 bankers at the bottom of the ocean?? A GOOD START!!!!!
> 
> Later! OL J R


The United States produces 70% of the garbage in the world, and has 70% of the lawyers in the world. Any coincidence?

Ralph


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## somedevildawg (Jun 20, 2011)

Lol.....tell us how you really feel Luke....

I've had a chip card for almost three years now......it's been stolen twice (I still had the damn thing in my wallet on both occasions)


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## stack em up (Mar 7, 2013)

Now I've become an absolute expert on how not to have all these banking problems. I don't have any money, so my debit card doesn't matter anyway...


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## hillside hay (Feb 4, 2013)

I take that approach as well Stack.


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