# lighten your day



## Chessiedog (Jul 24, 2009)

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. 'I'm too young to die,' she wails. Then she yells, 'Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a cowboy from Wyoming stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.

One button at a time.........

No one moves...................

He removes his shirt................

Muscles ripple across his chest..........

She gasps.....................

He whispers in her ear ................

'Iron this...then get me a beer.'

This is old I guess but still funny


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## Chessiedog (Jul 24, 2009)

Amish Humour Amish Humour (Obviously originally from Canada)

An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a OPP( for all my BC friends, OPP is Ontario Provincial Police) patrol officer stopped her. "I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."

"I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home." " Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband check that too."

"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home."

True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about the broken reflector. He said he would put a new one on immediately. " Also," said the Amish woman, "the policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake."


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