# Scared



## Thorim

I have never been one to share my problems or ask for help, but I need strength now I just found out a couple of hours ago my wife has at this time an inoperable rare type of stomach cancer that is at stage 4 doctors say that chemo may shrink it enough to allow surgery at some time in the future but they didn't sound very hopeful. The tumor is the size of an orange and pressing into the pancreas. We've been married thirty seven years of my fifty six years on this planet over half my life, getting to the point in life were things should be getting easier and better, now this, never feared much in this life even dying I've come close a couple of times but this scares me. Sorry for rambling but I had to let this out some where thank you for listening.

Jim


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## r82230

Jim,

Sorry to hear such news, you (and your wife) are in my prayers. Don't be afraid to ask for help, we are pretty close geographically.

Larry


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## SCtrailrider

All our prayers for your family...


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## RockyHill

Jim, we'll be praying for your wife, you and your family.

The group here are more than just people talking about hay; we're true friends even though we might not visit in person. Whatever any of us can do to help you through, let us know.

I don't know your relationship with God but I do know He loves your wife and you. This is a time that can bring you closer to Him or drive you away. Choose closer.

There are going to be a lot of challenges in your household; we can probably come up with suggestions to help with the day to day things your wife managed.

If nothing else, we're here for you.

Shelia & Jeff


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## somedevildawg

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Jim, don't be afraid to reach out to support groups for both you and your wife, they can be valuable in times like these.....they can guide you in clearer directions than you can yourself. Be strong, face it with all the resources you have available.....a support group can be obtained from your care provider. It's not doomsday as long as we have a fighting chance, miracles and cures are found every day.
I'll share a story I saw the other day while watching a channel I would never ordinarily watch (I take care of my 91 yr old mother so I watch what she wants  ) but this was about a cancer patient that was about 45 yrs old, a woman. I'm not sure of the type or real specifics so I'll have to relay what I recollect, (that ain't much  ) but this lady had a lymphoma type of cancer, so she undergoes radiation and she's clear and free for about 9 months then the devastating news that it had returned....so she undergoes stem cell transplant from her sister? Anyway, it has little effect...they give her 6 months! She and her husband are aggressively pursuing another course and they stumble on research being done at M.D. Anderson ? Out in the Midwest somewhere (CRS) but this procedure was radical and had only been tried in two patients prior....the jest of the procedure was removing T cells and "supercharging" them (think of T cells on steroids) and then injecting these supercharged T cells at massive rates, the procedure left her in a vegetative state for a few months but she slowly worked out of that and to look at her, you would think nothing had ever happened at all....3 yrs later and cancer free! Saw her daughter graduate, a grandson born....truly remarkable research going on every day. There is hope for better days....hit it with all you got and then some. 
Be strong my friend....you'll be in my thoughts and prayers


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## Farmerbrown2

Sorry to hear that been down that road with my dad and his brother. You are going to need help don’t be too proud ask for it . My prayers for you and your wife.


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## CowboyRam

Talk about a kick in the teeth, sorry Jim. Sending prayers your way.


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## swmnhay

Prayers to you both.Hopefully the treatment is a success.Streesful times ahead don't be afraid to ask for help and support.

Cancer Sucks!


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## NewBerlinBaler

"The size of an orange" doesn't sound too big to me. I know several people who had larger abdominal masses that were successfully removed and they're all doing well today. Your wife will get thru this and she'll be around for many more years.


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## FarmerCline

So sorry to hear this. Will keep you and your wife in my prayers.

Hayden


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## LaneFarms

Prayers for you and your wife Jim.


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## BWfarms

I read the post a little bit ago but I didn't have time to compose with sincerity. You would think by now I would have the magic words to comfort people. I struggle with how to convey a lesson that was taught to me, it was a lesson on FEAR.

To combat FEAR you overcome it with FAITH. It doesn't have to be a specific denomination of religion, it doesn't even have to be a religious base. Faith comes in the form of confidence. While this may seem daunting because of such a negative task, optimism is very important. You are already halfway there since you are actually more optimistic than pessimistic or else you would not farm.

You and your Wife are going to overcome this bump in the road. Don't dwell on memories or the what if's. Go hand in hand and find an adventure.


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## Tim/South

Jim, I am sorry to learn of your wife's condition. Be as strong and positive as you can.

I will pray for your wife's health.


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## carcajou

Sorry to read this but glad you took the time to post. Prayers for you and your wife. We're about the same age and i know what's it's like to be scared for my wife. Much rather i went though anything then have her hurting. Be strong. The lord takes care of his own. Ray


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## paoutdoorsman

So sorry to read this Jim. Praying for your strength and your wife's health at this difficult time.


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## rjmoses

The hardest decisions I have ever had to make was when to fight and when to let go. In my experience, I found that my gut feeling was usually right.

Your decisions on what to do involve basically balancing what you and your wife want against what the physical and emotional costs are to both of you. (I'm not talking about physical cost being money; rather, the physical pain, etc.)

I have used psychologists, counselors, and religious people help me in those decisions. Simply put, they helped me hear why I was thinking. You might consider that as an option.

One of things I learned way back when was: Relationships always end painfully. Not necessarily good news, but it wouldn't be painful if we didn't care. And the more we care, the more painful.

We here to help any way we can.

Ralph


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## JD3430

Jim, I'm so sorry to hear. I couldn't live without my wife, either.
Kind of along the lines of what Dawg said:
I strongly suggest you get to the best stomach cancer treatment center in the country. Wether it's Penn, Sloan Kettering, whatever. Just get her the best care. It makes a difference!!!
I remember when I took my mother to Penn for cancer treatment, there were people there from KOREA getting cancer treatment and living in a hotel suite to get the best care.


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## vhaby

Jim,

It's easy for me to say this since I'm not in your situation, and it's only natural to have fear under the circumstances, but pray to God in the name of Jesus Christ, saying not my will but yours be done Oh Lord. Then, like JD3430 said above, enlist the best treatment center for a second opinion and treatment. You have to be fearless and strong to support your wife. She has sufficient fear for both of you. Our prayers are on the way...


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## Palmettokat

Jim, I can only imagine how you feel and your wife also. As a Christian also encourage the benefits of relation with Jesus Christ as Savior and yes he not only cares he has unlimited ability. However his will and our's are not always the same, he is not a make a wish. Yet there is peace in his will beyond belief.

Some have said it much better than I have but we will be praying for you and your wife for healing and peace. Kenneth


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## Wethay

Words of wisdom, I have none. Answers I would gladly give, but they have not been provided to me. I can tell you with sincerity that your family will be in my prayers, and respectfully suggest that you ask for help and support and let The Lord have your back.


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## OhioHay

Jim, so sorry to hear this. My family is praying for strength and wisdom for you and healing for you wife. Thank you for sharing. We are hear to listen, pray, and help in anyway we can.


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## Tx Jim

My thoughts & prayers are with you & your wife.

Jim


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## Hayjosh

Just reading that felt like I got punched in the stomach, I can't imagine what you and her must be going through and I don't have the words. I am sincerely hoping for the best and said a little prayer for you.


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## hcriddle

Prayers for you and your wife Jim. If you should wind up in Houston at MD Anderson let us know. We will help in any way we can.

Buddy


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## clowers

Many prayers for you and your wife Jim.

Scott


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## Thorim

I am forever great full to all of you and I want to thank each and everyone of you for all your prayers, well wishes your words of encouragement, they mean the world to us.

Karen gets her first chemo treatment Monday, it is a two drug combination supposed to take four to six hours, her doctor is hoping that a treatment or two of this will knock the cancer down enough so that she can get what they call hot chemo we'll have to travel to Pittsburgh P.a. for that. She gets a treatment one week sees her doctor the following week then will receive another treatment the following week after that, at least that's what the doctors are saying.

Again thank you everyone for your prayers they are appreciated more then you know.... Prayers + Faith = Miracles I believe in prayers and miracles...

Jim


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## BWfarms

Let's Beat It!


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## Thorim

BWfarms said:


> Let's Beat It!


From your lips to Gods ear Amen


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## Palmettokat

A couple of weeks back our Pastor spoke on our praying and how sincere we were with them and praying for peoples needs. A thought came to my mind as never had before in somethings on this kind of praying. God has unlimited ability and knowledge. But he commands us to pray for certain needs such as here. The thought was and not saying this is true but wonder if God answers such a prayer in degree to how sincere our prayer(s) are and in any relationship to how much time we pray for the need. I believe he does. Thorim, I am thankful God is keeping your request ever before me and no doubt all the others here in lifting your wife and you both up.


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## Thorim

I want to again thank all of you for your prayers and words of support I come here tonight with a very heavy heart the love of my life past away at 3:15 this morning in her sleep she was with her family and passed quietly less then a month after being diagnosed....The last few days have been spent at her side 24/7 with no almost no sleep so this will be brief.


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## BWfarms

Your angel will always be with you.


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## carcajou

Very sad to hear that. May the Lord be with you in your time of sorrow.


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## woodland

So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Life is so fragile and fleeting at times...... brings tears to my eyes as a friend of mine is losing a very close uncle to brain cancer and it's been very hard on the family and her.

Take care

Adrian


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## IHCman

So sorry for your loss.


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## RockyHill

So very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in our prayers.

Jeff & Shelia


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## Farmerbrown2

So sorry to hear that hang in there.


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## OhioHay

So sorry to hear that. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## swmnhay

Sorry for your loss.


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## Tim/South

That is a tough pill to swallow. May God be with you and your family.


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## somedevildawg

That's painful news Jim, I'll continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers....I HATE cancer, it's high time for an all out blitz on this disease, far too many good people lost to this killer.


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## haybaler101

So sorry for your loss, you will be in our prayers.


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## SCtrailrider

So sorry to hear this Jim, wishing you the best in these hard times. If it matters I'm glad she didn't suffer as much as she could have.


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## CowboyRam

Sorry to hear, At least she is now with our Lord and Savior.


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## Uphayman

You have my deepest sympathies.


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## Coondle

Jim

Our deepest sympathy from Downunder

Kevin


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## paoutdoorsman

So sorry for your loss Jim. Prayers for you, and your family at this very difficult time.

Agree with dawg. We are laying an uncle to rest today, who was lost to liver cancer.


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## r82230

Jim,

I'm sorry and my sympathy goes out to you and your family, at this difficult time. But it ..........................doesn't seem like enough, I'm stunned and at a loss for words.

Larry


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## Thorim

paoutdoorsman said:


> So sorry for your loss Jim. Prayers for you, and your family at this very difficult time.
> 
> Agree with dawg. We are laying an uncle to rest today, who was lost to liver cancer.


My condolences on the loss of your uncle my prayers for you and your family as well it is never easy loosing a family memeber


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## Thorim

There was less then a month from the time Karen was diagnosed till her passing. We are laying her to rest on Wednesday morning at 11. I want to again thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers and well wishes in this our time of need and sorrow.....


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## JD3430

Jim,

Words cannot describe how sad I and many others here feel for you. Couldn't imagine life without my wife or children.

My hope is that you have people around you to help you get through this seemingly impossible loss.

May the Lord Bless you and keep you, and may Gods Faith shine upon you in this difficult time.


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## LaneFarms

Jim sorry to hear of your wife's passing. I will continue to pray for you.


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## glasswrongsize

I never know what to say and I doubt that mere words could help anyhow, but I take comfort in a specific Bible verse when confronted with death:

*And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them.*

This would be a much more grueling life for me if it were not for the hope of being in Heaven someday.

Mark


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## SVFHAY

So sorry, my prayers are with you and your family.


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## hcriddle

So sorry to hear this Jim. May God comfort you and your family in this time of sorrow and give you strength to persevere.

Buddy


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## Palmettokat

I learned years ago we are never expecting our loved one to pass when they do. We always hope for one more day, one more minute. Yet God is who controls that appointment. Realize the hurt, emptiness your heart has is testimony to how much she meant to you. Speaks volumes. Many have shared from their heart speaking to how much you mean to all here. Mark shared very well as all have. May you know the love of Jesus Christ as never before.

Kenneth


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## Thorim

Well today was the day we laid Karen to rest. The funeral home was packed yesterday from 4 till 8 with family and friends, and co-worker of Karen.

The mass was beautiful and the church was almost completely full. We had a small grave side service for the family, All stayed till the coffin was lowered in the grave, then the grandchildren placed daisies on her coffin and the rest of the family placed white and yellow roses, I placed a single red rose. The family went to her brothers house to celebrate Karen's life. I stayed and watched them place the lid on the vault and cover it over with the cold frozen dirt, then joined the family.

I can never thank you my Hay Talk family enough for all the love and support you have shown us, it is appreciated more then words can express.

I came to realize I met Karen when I was eighteen and we were married before I nineteen and half she was just twenty two, we spent most of our adult lives together raised four awesome children. The day I met her I told her I was going to marry her, and she told me I was crazy ten month's later we were married, married for thirty seven years. I went from my parents to be being married and know I am lone for the first time in my life. Yes I have kids and grand kids and friends and family but that's not the same as having someone at your side through good and bad, who loved you for you not because they had to because they are family. I know I have family and friends, and you my Hay Talk family for support but I am still scared. They say if the Lord brings you to it, he'll bring you through it... Our priest said that grief is love that we can not express to someone we love or care about, so take the time to tell someone you love or care about how much you love them before it is to late for them to hear it in this realm.

Thank you


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## RockyHill

Thought of you often today. Our prayers will continue as you go through this new, unwanted phase in your life.

Shelia & Jeff


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## FarmerCline

Jim,
So sorry to hear of your loss. Hang in there.

Hayden


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## broadriverhay

So sorry to hear this . I just read the entire post today for the first time. I don’t know how I missed it earlier. Prayers for you and your family.


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## Thorim

I know this is a bit late and I offer my sincerest apologizes but I want to thank you all for the lovely Peace Lillie's that was sent to the funeral home. They were/are absolutely gorgeous. Again thank you for all of yours support in this my families hour of need. We are taking it moment by moment there are some good days there are some bad days.... Take the time to tell someone you love that you love them cause you never know if you'll ever get that chance again.


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## hcriddle

I almost posted a minute ago to check on you and see how you were doing. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Buddy


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