# My beloved mother lost her battle with cancer



## JD3430

My wonderful mom Elizabeth lost her battle with cancer on New Years eve at 12:20 am.

She died at my home just one week after I brought her here to live her remaining time. They said she had "days to a few weeks" to live.

We brought her here and made my living room into a makeshift hospital room with a hospital bed and all the medical accessories. Me and my wife and kids doted on her and got her whatever she wanted. I pad, Ice cream, etc. It was fun for the kids.

Previously she had lived at her home on 3 acres, maintaining her independence up until just 2 weeks ago.

I'm so sad. My soul is empty inside. She was only 76 and running long distances, doing spinning classes, painting her house, etc. Heck, she could have helped me farm if I needed it.

She was fine for the first 6 days. She gave the kids money in Christmas cards because she could no longer drive. We opened presents we bought her, laughed and joked for days. She never stopped smiling.

Tuesday morning the 30th at 5 am, I woke to the dogs barking. She woke them up in a great deal of pain and could not breathe. I got her stabilized with a palliative care nurse but she lost concious at about 8 am. My sister arrived from Virginia. I held her hand for most of the day into the night and she passed after midnight. We kept her pain managed with morphine. My hope is she died with little pain. It was traumatizing to me to have her die in my home while holding her. I am forever changed from it.

Mom always helped me and made me feel better and never turned her back on me. She taught me how to be tough, but gentle. I could not have asked for a better mom. If theres a line to get into Heaven, shes at the front of the line!

Promise yourself you'll call your mom or dad and go visit them often. Once they get sick, they can slip away fast.

I'm so happy I took her in with us. Even though in the end she died, she gave us the gift of learning to care for someone in their time of greatest need and taught us so many valuable life lessons.

JD


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## Vol

My sincerest condolences JD. You have set a precedence for your children in caring for your mothers needs and final days.

Sincerest Regards, Mike


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## Bonfire

My sympathies. Sorry for your loss.


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## panhandle9400

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family ...........................


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## mlappin

My condolences my friend, but take heart in this, she spent her final days surrounded by people she loved and who loved her and in a familiar setting.

My heart goes out to you and yours,

Marty


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## discbinedr

My thoughts and prayers are with you, JD,
Mark


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## endrow

JD my friend. I extend my sincerest sympathies to you at this time of the loss.


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## Chessiedog

Sorry for your loss JD


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## swmnhay

You have my sympathy,JD.

Cy


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## G&GFarms

i havent known you for long, but i really like you. Im sorry for this tragic loss and i wish the best for you and your family. My condolences, Lil G


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## deadmoose

My condolences to you and yours.


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## haybaler101

Prayers and sympathy for you and your family, JD.

Joe


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## carcajou

Sad times JD. Sorry to hear about your Mom, it's obvious you really loved her. You are a great son for what you have done.


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## FCF

Sorry for the loss of your mother. You are a credit to her.


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## ANewman

Sorry to hear about your loss. Try to reflect on the good times. I lost my dad to cancer 6 years ago. I still miss him everyday but am thankful for how he raised us and the good times we had.


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## Tim/South

My prayers are being sent for you and your family. I am proud to see your mother treated with respect her last days. Being able to see her smile and knowing she was as happy as you could make her has to be some comfort.

Absent from the body, present with the Lord.

She is looking down on you right now and thinking, Silly boy, I no longer hurt.

Both of my parents are gone. Not a day goes by that I am not reminded of something they said or did. My parents will live forever through me and my children.

Your mother will also live forever, carried with you every day you breath.


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## urednecku

I am so sorry to read this. You have my thoughts and prayers for comfort. I am also happy that you had a chance to spend those last precious days with her.

Having lost both of my parents in the last 10 years, I want you to know you are not alone, others do know how you feel. I still miss mine to this day.


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## Guest

You have my thoughts and prayers JD


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## bluefarmer

Our thoughts and prayers are with you


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## Grateful11

So very sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom. Prayers and positive thoughts coming your way for you and the family.


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## RockyHill

You and your family have our prayers and deepest sympathy. I had been wondering about her as I hadn't seen anything posted about her recently.

You are right, your experiences will change you forever and so glad that you see that as part of her gift to you.

With our sympathy,

Shelia & Jeff


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## TJH

Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who morn, they shall be comforted. ( The words of our Lord Jesus). Our prayers are with you.


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## Lostin55

We are so sorry to hear this news. Condolences and prayers to help you in this difficult time. I am sure that it meant as much to her as to you that she could spend her final days with loving family.

Allen and Brenna.


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## somedevildawg

Just saw this post JD, I am deeply sorry to hear of your mothers passing. I don't spend enough time at my mothers, I will renew my commitment to going to see her just as much as possible. I'm sure she was a wonderful lady, a beautiful mom and was very lucky to have a son like you....we all deserve to pass with dignity.....my condolences and prayers are with you and your family


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## OhioHay

Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. You are a testament to your Mom and a great example for your family and others.


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## SVFHAY

So sorry JD. Lost mom 14 years ago to cancer. The final days were spent in the living room of her home of 48 years surrounded by family. Such a blessing to be in a familiar place surrounded love. The hospice people are saints, I don't deserve to walk in their shadow.

Dad took care of his father at the end and always spoke of how thankful he was to have had that opportunity. I pray that you and your family find comfort and healing.


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## FarmerCline

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I think it was really great that you and your family was able to bring her to your home to care for and be with her in her final days.....I imagine it was very comforting for her to be there and cared for by family.

Hayden


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## sethd11

I'm extremely sorry to hear that JD, it will be hard to get through this but you will. My prayers were already with you and will continue to be with you.


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## rjmoses

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.

Ralph


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## LaneFarms

JD sorry to hear of your loss. Your family are in our thoughts and prayers.


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## Gearclash

You have my sympathy, JD. May God give you the strength to go on!


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## Tx Jim

My sympathies to you and your family. Jim


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## Mike120

My deepest sympathies to you and yours.

Mike


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## wildcat

So sorry for your loss.


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## cornshucker

May God Bless and keep you and give you and your family peace. I'm sure she appreciated being surrounded by her loving family in her last days. Will keep you in our prayers.

Tim and Patricia


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## aawhite

Very sorry for your loss, JD.


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## barnrope

Sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my prayers, Tom


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## JD3430

I'm grateful for all your encouraging words. 
You never know how much you REALLY love someone until they're gone.
I hit the "like" key for all the responses I could in one day.
I will be sure to do the rest of you tomorrow.
Thanks for being such a supportive group.


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## stack em up

My absolute deepest condolences JD. Nothing I could say can heal your grieving. Just know that you have a loving and caring HayTalk family praying for you all the way. You are a great role model for your kids, and your mother surely appreciated all you did for her.

Sorry for the late posting of this, I'm a louse.


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## JD3430

stack em up said:


> My absolute deepest condolences JD. Nothing I could say can heal your grieving. Just know that you have a loving and caring HayTalk family praying for you all the way. You are a great role model for your kids, and your mother surely appreciated all you did for her.
> Sorry for the late posting of this, I'm a louse.


No no you're not. Please don't think that.
And yes, we do have great people here.


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## RockmartGA

That's quite a testimate to your mother, the family she raised, and to you JD.

Even though it is a part of the natural cycle of life and we all know that day is coming, losing a parent is still one of the toughest things we have to go through. You have my deepest condolences and my prayers.


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## IHCman

JD, sorry for your loss.


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## Bgriffin856

Sorry to hear of the news JD


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## hog987

Sorry for your loss. It always seems harder this time of year.
I was just over talking to the one neighbor who just lost her husband on Christmas eve. She is doing ok but not great.
I hope that you and your family are at least doing ok. Not much can make things better except time.
All the best to you JD.


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## IH 1586

Sorry for your loss JD.


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## slowzuki

Sorry to hear of your loss JD. I know it was traumatic for you to have her die in your home but what an amazing gift for your mom to be around her family. I hope you can find a peace with the experience.

I've been around several family members at the time they passed in a hospital or nursing home and it was not the right place for them to die.


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## JD3430

Although I thought & hoped she would live longer, and as painful as it was, I hope one day to convince myself I did the right thing. 
Right now I wonder if I helped my mom, but "damaged" myself in the process. The final images were disturbing
God bless all of you. You're all winners and I hope I can support you in some small way as the years go by.
Only farmers could be this real!!!!!!


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## urednecku

JD3430 said:


> Although I thought & hoped she would live longer, and as painful as it was, I hope one day to convince myself I did the right thing. Yes, you did.
> Right now I wonder if I helped my mom, Yes you did, tremendously. but "damaged" myself in the process. It will take time, but in time you will cherish the memories knowing those she loved were right there with her providing all the comfort possible. That in it-self was a tremendous comfort to her, at least emotionally and mentally. The final images were disturbing Your Mom would want you to remember the better times. Yes, I do know how hard that is, but try to ease the pain of the bad images with memories of better times.
> God bless all of you. You're all winners and I hope I can support you in some small way as the years go by.
> Only farmers could be this real!!!!!! Farming is another "brother-hood", like many others where we watch out for each other. Just because I/we may have never met you does not mean I/we do not feel your pain.
> 
> Love ya, brother.


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## Shetland Sheepdog

Our thoughts and Prayers are with you and the family at this difficult time!

GOD bless, Dave & Linda


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## slowzuki

I'll add the 1/2 dozen or so people I've been with when they died, its not the movies, it is not flattering, and it can be very disturbing sometimes, but its not what you will ultimately remember over time. Focus on the good times and memories and the positive. Don't get stuck looking at the trees for the rest of the forest. You don't have the power to prevent the inevitable that all of us face. I can't imagine a parent wishing for any better care in that time of their life.

I know I would be proud if my son was able to look after my wife in the same manner should the time arise.



JD3430 said:


> Although I thought & hoped she would live longer, and as painful as it was, I hope one day to convince myself I did the right thing.
> Right now I wonder if I helped my mom, but "damaged" myself in the process. The final images were disturbing
> God bless all of you. You're all winners and I hope I can support you in some small way as the years go by.
> Only farmers could be this real!!!!!!


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## urednecku

I just came across this in my bookmarks---I now remember it after my own Mom passed. I started to PM it, but realized others might be able to use it.

15 Things I Wish I'd Known About Grief


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## Thorim

I just joined this wonderful group a few days ago and saw this thread want I want to offer my condolences and prayers to you and your family.... you did the right thing by having her at home surround by family and loved ones....


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## JD3430

Thank you for those kind words.
Today was a day where our family took another step towards healing. We had a celebration of my mothers life at my home. About 70 friends and relatives came for lunch and deserts. We put out pictures of my mom from her birth in 1938 until the last pictures we have of her. I was able to tell a lot of her friends things they never knew about mom. It was very moving and sad at times. 
I still can't believe mom is gone.


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## Thorim

I understand the breadth and depth of your sorrow, In 2007 I lost my father in July, my best friend in August, and my mother in October.

Know that she will be there forever in your mind and even longer in your heart. Also know that your mother did a great job in raising

a fine man in you. You are now her living legacy.....


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## JD3430

Thanks Thorim. I'm sorry to hear you lost so much in such a short period of time. I lost my best fried (drunk driver) in 2005.
I lost my dad 4 years ago in 2011. And now my mom.
My mom & dad were married for 56 years. I don't think they spent more than a day apart.
My mom left a short note in a log book she kept while grieving over the loss of my dad. It said she believed part of her (and part of all of us when parents die) would live on through their children. I can only hope somehow this beautiful, woman would live on in me.


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