# Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me



## BWfarms (Aug 3, 2015)

Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Everywhere I turn it has been rough luck for 2019. I know we have each had our challenges. 2018/2019 winter I crawled through on the belly of a tractor and thought this rain is hurting me but I don't dare curse it. Then 2019 hay comes along and I didn't get it all mowed. In fact I bush hogged a few fields because it got over mature. Then summer came and no second cut anywhere for me. I tried but all I was going to do was waste fuel. Okay I can manage, I have enough hay... I hope.

Late in August, my 4 year old was bruising too easily. Turned out he had low blood platelets but tests didn't resolve the cause. Doctors diagnosed him with immune thrombocytopenia purpura (ITP), the treatment was intravenous immunoglobulin. He responded well to the treatment and hopefully this is behind him.

A month ago one of my best cows and oldest going down for an unknown reason. I've treated her for mineral deficiencies, hoof rot, ruled out broken leg. She still eats but won't get up. Now she's in a severe state of recumbency despite me lifting her. I haven't had the heart to put her down yet because I want to keep giving her a chance. I've made the decision when's she's listless it will be the end.

Then wife's promotion has been frozen because Company 'revenue' is down. You ought to see the wasteful spending of this company and guess who they blame... the farmer. I feel bad for her she's put in the effort, makes me more appreciative of my self inflicted employment.

The wonderful Asplundh crew tore a fence down while cutting power lines and left without contacting me that they damaged my fence. Then almost 3 months later they came back to finish the remaining section and drove all over my pastures and tearing it up after being told where they can drive and where they can't go. Then they rotomulched their mess and left it. The right of way was maintained on the ground by me as I used it as a road. They eventually came back to moved the brush after I cussed out their foreman. What did I get for compensation? A bag of seed I haven't seen yet. No Retribution for the grief they caused. Most of the damage they did was not even in the right of way.

Then there are the small things that keep popping up. In the last 36 hours the enamel on a molar cracked off leaving dentin exposed, it will be next Monday before they see me. When I was unloading a steer yesterday at the processor, I found I had a flat trailer tire. Cut it on the way down so I had to limp to the nearest tire shop, thank god for tandems. While minor I pull into station to put diesel in the Ram and a car was using the pump with diesel despite open gas pumps. I patiently wait and make and then a red Ford truck pulls in blocking the aisle enough to make it difficult but doable to get a trailer in. Before I know it a witch in a crap box Mustang whips in.

It's deer season and I haven't seen a mature buck yet.

Man I hope Trump wins 2020 just so I can laugh at something.


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## Ox76 (Oct 22, 2018)

...and agony on me...


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## Aaroncboo (Sep 21, 2014)

Some days it all seems uphill. But those are the days that I do it just for spite. I tell myself sooner or later I'll reach the top and then I can look down on everything that I've had to do and overcome to get there.


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## Red Bank (Apr 28, 2019)

I thought it was just me living like that. Thanks for posting I know it’s seems like everything at once but I enjoyed reading about your experience and trust me if I had time I would post mine. Hang in there it’s going to get better.


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## FCF (Apr 23, 2010)

BW seems like when it rains it POURS and I don't mean Morton salt.


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## JD3430 (Jan 1, 2012)

Know the feeling....
It all starts with one unfortunate event, then another and another and another....
I had 2 tractors go down on me, one had a massive fuel loss on customers property-luckily they have a sense of humor. Other tractor lost what I thought was a $3,000 transmission controller, but after 5 hours of testing, found a broken CAN wire in a bundle of about 100 wires,, then I lost my low pressure fuel pump on my 550. 3 machines go down in 2 days. 
Seems like everything has a fully functioning "check engine" light though...

Feel for ya Bee Dub.
Get that tooth pain resolved and I bet things will look better. Nothing worse than dental pain!


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## haybaler101 (Nov 30, 2008)

Stealing this quote off of a FB post, “If wasn’t for next year, I would have quit farming last year!”


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## BWfarms (Aug 3, 2015)

I'm still optimistic.... that I'll be paying for something else this year.

Oh well I only have one debt and that's the tractor payment. I'm not drowning up to my eyeballs like some guys so I've got that going for me


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## Trotwood2955 (Sep 4, 2012)

Sorry to hear all that. Out of all of it though, I'm so glad to hear the issue with your son seems to be working out. As a dad to a 4 year old myself, I can relate. He had some health issues of his own this year that we think are behind us and nothing major now, but at first some of the possibilities thrown out were what you never want to hear. Makes you really stop in your tracks and not care one bit about hay, cows, or tractors. Keeps things in perspective. No matter the doom and gloom on the farm, if we have family and friends that's the main thing.

Side note, that same four year old little boy is all boy. Was goofing around while waiting on our load of calves to be weighed at the stockyards last week and fell and busted his chin. We went from the stockyards to the ER for stitches...


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## BWfarms (Aug 3, 2015)

Lane's all boy too. Yesterday for example he insisted on helping me catch and load the 1275# steer. I told him just sit in the truck and I'll come back and get you when I catch him, then you can help me load him. Promise? He shows no fear of these large animals and he indeed helped load. After we load I decided to put hay out before the rain, really glad I took the half hour to do that, what a soup afterwards.

I show him every step despite how much it slows me down. We checked the trailer for pins, air, etc. Then away we go to the processor. It started sprinkling as we got in the truck.

At the processor, the first thing he does is goes right into the ankle deep puddles in his new red top boots. I told him his feet were going to get wet. No worries Dad, see? He helps unload gets the ticket and steps in every puddle on the way inside. The ladies inside are smittened with him. The owner, she treats him to an Oatmeal Pie.

Since I cut the trailer tire, we hobbled to a tire shop that was on the way home. They were not busy and while we waited he played in the puddles. Again I told him those are not like your muck boots, your feet will get wet and cold. He says I'm fine Dad, I'll be okay. So away he wades through the mini lakes. Once we are mounted we head on.

One more stop, Southern States. Again puddles right out of the truck. We go inside to get what I need and while I'm loading with the help he's right back walking in the large puddles. The new manager goes, "He's all boy ain't he". Yep and I've already told him those boots won't keep his feet dry as I shrug my shoulders with a smile. I said it's time to go he said hold on Dad I want to play some more (these were the biggest puddles so far) and I said well I'm going to McDonalds. He goes just one step and before I can say anything he steps in the water and hightails it to the truck. That was fun he squeals.

So I go to McDonalds and pull through the drive thru, yes with a cattle trailer  Then to top off the truck before heading home. He passed out with his almost finished cheeseburger about 5 miles from the house. I unhook and and when I shut that diesel off he wakes up. We go in the house and as we take our boots off at the door. I noticed his socks were damp. I said see I told you the water would get in and I asked are your feet cold? He told me nope I'm fine. He decided to stay home and I left to tend to chores and go hunt. While I was gone he confided to his mother that his feet were indeed cold.

This afternoon he asked me where I was going and I said hunting. Ooooo I'm going with you. Well okay so we went. I always call when I'm on the way home so dinner is started. I dial his mother and when she answers it was like I was listening to a mini adult as he hollers into the phone Hey Mom, we are on our way. He proceeds to tell her about the hunt and they hang up. I turn on the radio and we are jamming to Something to be Proud Of........ very fitting.


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## danwi (Mar 6, 2015)

Took 6 feeders to the feeder sale a couple weeks ago and they had about 400 extra head there because a bank foreclosed on some dairy farm and they took the young stock to the sale. They averaged pretty close to the same weight as a batch a year ago but got $1400 total less for the 6. Got the corn harvested that was planted June 10, had a waterhemp problem we couldn't get ahold of and it only yielded around 100 bushel per acre. Today doing a custom grain hauling job and the radiator on the semi sprung a leak from corrosion.


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## swmnhay (Jun 13, 2008)

2019 has been the year from hell for many no doubt,one we will talk about forever.

Shitty wet spring battle to get it planted.Well maybe summer will be better.

Nope shitty wet summer can't get hay put up decent.Well maybe fall will be better.

Nope shitty wet fall.Harvest drug out with wet crops.Well maybe stalk baling season will be dryer.

Nope,snowed 4 times already and multiple rains also so making stalk baling near impossible.

Well I hope next yr is better


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## CowboyRam (Dec 13, 2015)

I hope everything works out well with your child. When my son was four he was diagnosed as with Osteopenia, that is borderline Osteoporsis due to a doctor over prescribing to much Prednisone. It striped the calcium out of his bones. When I found that out I wanted to do some very bad things to that doctor. I remember asking the doctor at National Jewish in Denver just how was I to keep a four year old form jumping, and bending. Fortunately by the time he got into the 5th grade he was back to normal and the doctor released him to play football. I wish you the best.


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## Palmettokat (Jul 10, 2017)

At age 66 with two grown daughters and two son in laws and four grandchildren from 6 to 16 I am still amazed at the love God places in our hearts for them and how much he places in their hearts for "ME". Can tell a lot about an adult the way they care for and are concern about their children.


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## danwi (Mar 6, 2015)

Things weren't going that good today and a friend calls and list about 6 things he was having go wrong today, when we got done talking my bad day didn't look so bad.


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## stack em up (Mar 7, 2013)

My attitude lately is equivalent to a steaming pile of dog shit. If it can go wrong, it will. This has been the harvest from hell, and I'm not even done yet. Talked with a guy who had to quit farming and went to drive truck for a construction outfit. Happiest he's been in years. We lost 350 acres for next year, and I'm okay with that.

Can only go uphill from here!

On the bright side, I've got a wonderful family, roof over my head and food in my belly.


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## Hayjosh (Mar 24, 2016)

Just talked to my best friend today who lives in the ghetto in town (his boys are my star hay help). His neighbor was shot and murdered last night, about 1 am. Gang related. Since my buddy lives next door, they figure he was a witness to it. Except he wasn't home, he was at the motorcycle club house and only discovered it when he tried to get home but police closed everything off. There were 4 bullet holes in the side of his house.

My friend finds out this morning there's a hit out for him now too, since they think he saw it. Suffice to say, he's not staying at his house currently. Told him I had plenty of extra guns since his are in his house, and I have extra beds.

Problem is, if somebody tries to mess with him they're going to have about 500 Iron Coffins jumping down their ass.

I wonder if fellow hay farmers would do the same for me if somebody wanted to murder me. LOL.


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## RockyHill (Apr 24, 2013)

Hayjosh said:


> Just talked to my best friend today who lives in the ghetto in town (his boys are my star hay help). His neighbor was shot and murdered last night, about 1 am. Gang related. Since my buddy lives next door, they figure he was a witness to it. Except he wasn't home, he was at the motorcycle club house and only discovered it when he tried to get home but police closed everything off. There were 4 bullet holes in the side of his house.
> 
> My friend finds out this morning there's a hit out for him now too, since they think he saw it. Suffice to say, he's not staying at his house currently. Told him I had plenty of extra guns since his are in his house, and I have extra beds.
> 
> ...


Sorry for what your friend is going through.

You remember the way back to Kentucky don't you? Think we could find a place for you and means of protection LOL

Shelia


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## Ox76 (Oct 22, 2018)

I'd help ya if I could...we patriots need to stick together in these trying times.


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## Hayjosh (Mar 24, 2016)

RockyHill said:


> Sorry for what your friend is going through.
> 
> You remember the way back to Kentucky don't you? Think we could find a place for you and means of protection LOL
> 
> Shelia


Actually I was just down in the far southern tip of Indiana a few weeks ago to pick up a project car body. I did look to see how far away I was from your neck of the woods, but it was still 2-3 hrs.


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## swmnhay (Jun 13, 2008)

Somedays you wonder WTF next.
Yesterday morning I get a message a bussiness frien passed away in motel room.He talked to his wife early evening and after that he didn't answer ph.She got ahold of the motel to check on him in the morning and found him dead.Young guy,took a run before breakfast when we were at farm shows.3 young kids.

This morning I hear a classmate passed away after having acute Pancreitous.I was just at his place last week baling for him.

Sure as hell hope I don't get any bad news tommorow


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## CowboyRam (Dec 13, 2015)

swmnhay said:


> Somedays you wonder WTF next.
> Yesterday morning I get a message a bussiness frien passed away in motel room.He talked to his wife early evening and after that he didn't answer ph.She got ahold of the motel to check on him in the morning and found him dead.Young guy,took a run before breakfast when we were at farm shows.3 young kids.
> 
> This morning I hear a classmate passed away after having acute Pancreitous.I was just at his place last week baling for him.
> ...


Wow that sucks. Sorry about your friend.

I had a friend of mine that died of a brain aneurysm a couple years ago, unfortunately there was nothing they could do for him.


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## Gearclash (Nov 25, 2010)

Sorry to hear of your losses Cy! Job's (as in Job in the Bible) messengers as we would say.


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