# Don't laugh to much....



## SCtrailrider (May 1, 2016)

OK, here is a good laugh for you all...

I borrowed a friends bander, plan was to use it on my 2 little calf's, 1 1/2 month & 3 wk old...

While the wife was bottle feeding them, I searched for the little boogers and couldn't find them lol..

What am I missing here other than the obvious.. looking at them I would have swore I'd feel them but nothing but a empty sack...

When ya finish laughing tell me what I'm doing wrong here....

Chris


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## Northeast PA hay and beef (Jan 29, 2017)

Make sure you have them standing up staight. Then pull the sac through the band, and keep band open. Then reach above band and kinda squeeze above it, you'll eventually feel then drop. They can just kinda get sucked back into their body when stressed. It might take a couple tries to get both past the band. Usually only get one at a time doing it this way but will get both. Kinda squeeze above the band like milking an udder. Try to squeeze up high first and then go downward.


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## Tim/South (Dec 12, 2011)

Make certain they are bulls. It is very difficult to band steers or heifers. 

Back when we banded, my grandfather had the neatest trick. He kept a piece of wax string in his banding kit. He would make a slip knot and trap both nuts in the scrotum. Ran the string through the band and slid it over the sack. Removed the string and always had two jewels banded.


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## olschoolsteel (Mar 6, 2016)

Tim/South said:


> Make certain they are bulls. It is vert difficult to band steers or heifers.
> 
> Back when we banded, my grandfather had the neatest trick. He kept a piece of wax string in his banding kit. He would make a slip knot and trap both nuts in the scrotum. Ran the string through the band and slid it over the sack. Removed the string and always had two jewels banded.


Damn, that is a sure way of getting them. My local vet poo pooed my idea of banding He said nobody around here does that anymore. And when they do, he says he gives them a full syringe of penicillin to shoot straight into the gonad to prevent infection. I asked him if every steer calf got a shot in the nuts over the last 150 yrs, and if they didnt, why did they turn out ok? He said it was for insurance.

I just banded half a dozen sheep over the last week. They got nothing more than a smack on the ass for good luck


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## Ray 54 (Aug 2, 2014)

I am not into banding,much prefer to us a emasculater but when the weather is hot and flies and other bugs can be a problem banding has a place. So branding can be much less risk ,and I am not leaving the money on the table for selling bulls. A buck or so for the insurance is cheap,so penicillin is add to the other shots they get. I have never heard of putting penicillin in the gonads, always in the neck muscle like the rest.

Sc I have seen finding a nut to turn into major scavenger hunt almost major surgery. Kind of has to due with the age of the bull how far the search should be taken IMO. But have seen times nothing but cutting the sack off would of been successful.


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## mlappin (Jun 25, 2009)

SCtrailrider said:


> OK, here is a good laugh for you all...


Couldn't have been anything like I had a few weeks ago. Was working in front of the shop and looked out to the pasture just in time to see a cow sprawled out flat, thought sure she was dead, rest of em was standing between the shop and her so no ideal how long she laid there. Jumped in the Ranger and drove back the lane, looked bloated bad, turns out the dumb b*tch laid down with her feet up hill in the only spot in the entire paddock she could do that.

Wasn't dead yet and was trying to have a calf to boot. Grabbed her head and flopped it over legs then got behind her and tried to roll her up on her feet, didn't quite do it the first try, grabbed her head again, flopped it back over her front legs but she wasn't having none of that, brought her head back and took both my legs out from under me and I landed in a nice fresh grass fed cow pie. Scraped it off the best I could, got in the Ranger and went for some rope, could only find a older piece I knew was kinda questionable, drove back and tied that to a front and rear leg closest to the ground, threw the rope over her middle then gently pulled (rope was questionable after all) just about had her half way over then she fought me a bit, the rope broke and I landed right in another fresh grass fed cow pie. Went for a heavy piece of rope I use on the hay trailer complete with a slip hook on each end, repeated the hook to each leg deal, throw it over her middle and then pulled with zero gentleness involved, over she rolled and she popped up so quick on her feet I managed to slip again but managed to miss any fresh cowpies but instead got zapped right in the ass by the cross wire which almost knocked me down again. In the mean time momma's hobbling across the field with the ropes still attached to legs. Got up beside her and managed to get the front one with no issues, but while getting the back one she managed to step on the big toe I broke in multiple places back in March, that felt just wonderful btw. Finally got the rope off then let her wander a bit while I got the rest of the cattle out of that paddock into another.

She finally settled down so I could access the calf situation, one front foot and a lot of nose but no sign of a second front foot, SH*T. Called Dad's cell, couldn't get ahold of him so called my step Mom, it was a scorcher of a day, Dad knocked off about 4pm, went home, took a shower, then promptly fell asleep on the couch from what I was told, told Judy it would be much appreciated if she could get Dad up and send him to the farm. While I was waiting for back up rounded up the chains and handles, got the calf winch out just in case and got a bucket of warm water. Dad shows up and we manage to get her face first into a 45 degree corner by the lane where the diagonal cross wire runs. The one leg not showing was folded back at the knee, was all both of us could do to get him shoved back in far enough to get the leg straightened out, finally got it then decided already had her cornered might as well slip the chains on his feet just in case, waited a bit and she was barely trying so attached the handles and managed to get the front shoulders out then she went down which actually made getting the pelvis out that much easier. Once he was out Momma managed to get back up on her own. hauled a tub out there and 20 gallons of water for her and left her in the paddock overnight by herself.

About 4 that morning the wife wakes me because a Momma was raising bloody hell, sure enough the calf was a runner, was about three paddocks away, I left him and went back to bed. Next morning got him back with momma and made sure he ate. That night same thing according to the wife, she didn't wake me though as she should have known better the first night. Went out and sure enough several paddocks away again, fixed the wires he ran thru, then proceeded to get him back with momma. I have high tensile wires down both sides of the lane, he tried to jump one of those but only got the front feet over, after he got shocked about half a dozen times I remembered I had the fence remote in the Ranger (selected forgetfulness?) and got him over the fence, he stayed put after that, of course he did manage to step on the same toe that momma enraged a few days before.

Momma's getting just old enough soon as he's weaned she's going to White Castle and he's going in our freezer once he's big enough. I'm not the least bit vindictive, let bygones be bygones after all.

Another thing I found out, the wife had the neighbor girl over helping to clean the Polaris Ranger for the Independence Day parade, the local Legion and VFW use it in the parade, hook the trailer we haul it on behind the Ranger and place a few chairs and some of the older guys that want to ride can. Anyways, the easiest way to get it looking like new is to first carefully power wash, then use car wash with wax, then after it's dried just get the 100% silicone in a can and spray everything, wheels, tires, suspension etc. Thats what used car dealers usually do, they power wash under the hood then mist everything with silicone to give it that clean shiny look. Anyways, somebody siliconed the seat in the Ranger, it's like it was waxed with the same stuff they used on the aluminum saucer in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. Goto climb in and you could shoot right out the other side like you drank mexican tap water. Not careful getting out and you could face plant in hurry. Anyways, fresh grass fed cowpies on the back of your shirt and the seat of your pants takes the slickness right out of the silicone in a hurry. Neither the wife nor the neighbor girl ever fessed up to siliconing the seat.


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## Palmettokat (Jul 10, 2017)

toooooo funnnnnyyyyyyyy


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## SCtrailrider (May 1, 2016)

Well I did finally get them taken care of, one I for sure got both, the younger small one I'm not sure, I'll check them at some point and see if I can feel anything...

Getting close to weening them, both are eating grain really well and stay at the hay roll, one more 25# bag should do it... plan is to move the heifer out and keep them in the paddock and give them free choice grain during weening and watch them grow...


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