# Things I say sometimes to people visiting my farm...



## Bishop (Apr 6, 2015)

Here are things I have said on the farm to friends / family / customers over the last decade:

1) If you see me backing up to a wagon, come and hook me up, don't just stand and watch.

2) If I'm stopped in the field facing away from you towards the tire of my tractor I'm probably "watering the hay". Give me some privacy.

3) Wait until I'm at full stop before trying to climb into the cab.

4) Don't show up in shorts during hay season.

5) Beer o'clock is when the last wagon is parked in the shed, not before.

6) No I do not have room to store your camper in my shed this winter, I put my equipment in there, no I can't leave some of my equipment outside so I can store your camper.

7) No I don't want to be in your selfie after I finished unloading clover hay and I'm covered in black dust.

8) No you can't have "just one" bale of wheat straw for your dog's kennel for free. It's $5. If I gave everyone in my family a bale of wheat straw it would put me in the poor house.

9) Well I guess you could call them pets (referring to our 50+ head of sheep and goats).

That's all I have for now. 

Oh, one more from off the farm, but farm related:

10) Sorry for missing the first part of the family reunion Aunt L, I was baling hay. (I usually show up around suppertime for those sorts of events, even though they start at noon.)


----------



## rjmoses (Apr 4, 2010)

Like times 9!

10) When you stop to ask for directions, get out of your car and walk over to me! Don't yell at me out the window or ask me to get off the tractor and walk over to you! I'm not the one that is lost. (Well, at least most of the time I'm not!)

11) When you see me coming down the road, pulling a big piece of equipment, please squeeze to your right. (I'd hate to damage my equipment with one of your fenders.)

12) When you come up behind me while I'm pulling some equipment, hang back a little so I can see you. And wait for me to signal you it is OK to pass me.

Ralph


----------



## Bishop (Apr 6, 2015)

Bishop said:


> 6) No I do not have room to store your camper in my shed this winter, I put my equipment in there, no I can't leave some of my equipment outside so I can store your camper.


This one happens to me the most.


----------



## swmnhay (Jun 13, 2008)

When I built my shed 4 people asked to store stuff in it.I don't think soooo.


----------



## somedevildawg (Jun 20, 2011)

swmnhay said:


> When I built my shed 4 people asked to store stuff in it.I don't think soooo.


Same thing here......guess there's no difference in people no matter where you live...build it and they will come asking....



Bishop said:


> This one happens to me the most.


----------



## rjmoses (Apr 4, 2010)

13) No, your kids cannot ride their ATV/dirt bike/etc. across my fields!

Ralph


----------



## somedevildawg (Jun 20, 2011)

rjmoses said:


> 13) No, your kids cannot ride their ATV/dirt bike/etc. across my fields!
> 
> Ralph


They don't even ask here they just do it......guess they go by the mantra that it's "easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission".


----------



## somedevildawg (Jun 20, 2011)

After I catch em I bet they don't hold that same opin......


----------



## Teslan (Aug 20, 2011)

rjmoses said:


> 13) No, your kids cannot ride their ATV/dirt bike/etc. across my fields!
> 
> Ralph


For me it's not kids I have to yell at for that it's Oil and gas workers driving whereever to get to the well heads. And the other day I yelled at the electric company worker who thought it was ok to drive through my freshly irrigated hay field. He said "But I didn't spin out at all" And I said, but you left tracks 2 inches deep which doesn't help with flood irrigation. Now get out of here. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what flood irrigation means.


----------



## carcajou (Jan 28, 2011)

No sorry You can't hunt in that field, can't you see there are cattle in there? No i don't care if you are careful!! NOOO!!! you can't just have a look anyway!


----------



## Thorim (Jan 19, 2015)

carcajou said:


> No sorry You can't hunt in that field, can't you see there are cattle in there? No i don't care if you are careful!! NOOO!!! you can't just have a look anyway!


 Maybe they was a hunting them slow elk hehehe lmao


----------



## RockyHill (Apr 24, 2013)

14) No, 'being your own boss' does not mean you can do whatever you want any time you want to -- weather and crop conditions determine that and is more unpredictable than any HR personnel ever could be

15) Yes, it does smell bad

16) No, we're busy in the winter too

17) No, if I had to handle every one of those little bales of hay by hand I would not be doing this

18) This one seldom leaves my lips but . . . NO! I don't want your advice since you've never been responsible for making a bale of hay in your life! Neither do I care if you think the hay should be greener, finer, stemmier, smaller bale flakes, larger bale flakes, weigh more, weigh less -- you see the hay, you've been told the price, do you want two bales loaded into your SUV or not?

19) No, you cannot borrow hay to use for your outdoor wedding and bring it back when you're through with it.

Shelia


----------



## Teslan (Aug 20, 2011)

I've found with number 19 is that they are expecting yellow hay (straw) for these types of pictures not pretty green hay. I've brought pretty green hay to people for these photo things and they are disappointed by them because they aren't yellow.


----------



## Bishop (Apr 6, 2015)

I once sold 10 bales of straw to a summer camp for archery at $3 a bale. A week later they brought them back and said thanks, they were done and didn't know what to do with them. I took them back. They didn't want the money back. I guess I rented out straw bales for $3 a bale.

Maybe I should turn that into a regular thing.


----------



## Teslan (Aug 20, 2011)

Bishop said:


> I once sold 10 bales of straw to a summer camp for archery at $3 a bale. A week later they brought them back and said thanks, they were done and didn't know what to do with them. I took them back. They didn't want the money back. I guess I rented out straw bales for $3 a bale.
> 
> Maybe I should turn that into a regular thing.


Tell them the straw bales will be waiting for them the next year also for $3 a bale. For people unfamiliar with buying hay or hay in general even $10 seems cheap for a 50-60lb bale. I've had that comment more then once from my "city" friends. They say "they are only $5 a bale?" Especially since if they buy a 50lb bag of dog food for $30 a 50lb bale seems cheap. Now if we could just get real hay customers into that frame of mind.


----------



## IHCman (Aug 27, 2011)

Those are all so true.

Dad was nice enough to store my sister and now ex brother in laws camper in a pole barn of his for a few winters. Then when he put up a new building with a concrete floor to park our 3 feeding tractors inside during the winter. My sister comes up with the brainstorm that their camper should be in the new building because it has a concrete floor and the polebarn has a dirt floor. That one was a big hell NO!

Have one old barn left done on my grandpas old place, one of dads brothers asked to park his boat in it. Dad said yes but told him we're not liable if it gets vandalized or something happens to it as its 15 miles from the homeplace and we can't keep that close of an eye on it. Next thing we know his son in law has a couple of cars parked in that same old barn and never asked. Really doesn't matter as we're not using that barn and don't plan to. But what happens if someone breaks in and steals something or vandalizes something. Not my problem will be my answer. You'd think these people would think about where they are going to store their camper, boat, or whatever before they buy it.


----------



## Teslan (Aug 20, 2011)

IHCman said:


> Those are all so true.
> 
> Dad was nice enough to store my sister and now ex brother in laws camper in a pole barn of his for a few winters. Then when he put up a new building with a concrete floor to park our 3 feeding tractors inside during the winter. My sister comes up with the brainstorm that their camper should be in the new building because it has a concrete floor and the polebarn has a dirt floor. That one was a big hell NO!
> 
> Have one old barn left done on my grandpas old place, one of dads brothers asked to park his boat in it. Dad said yes but told him we're not liable if it gets vandalized or something happens to it as its 15 miles from the homeplace and we can't keep that close of an eye on it. Next thing we know his son in law has a couple of cars parked in that same old barn and never asked. Really doesn't matter as we're not using that barn and don't plan to. But what happens if someone breaks in and steals something or vandalizes something. Not my problem will be my answer. You'd think these people would think about where they are going to store their camper, boat, or whatever before they buy it.


They did think about it. Look at where it is at.


----------



## swmnhay (Jun 13, 2008)

20.NO SMOKEING outside of your vehicle.


----------



## stack em up (Mar 7, 2013)

21. No, we are not having an antique machinery auction, we are using them....


----------



## snowball (Feb 7, 2015)

Thorim said:


> Maybe they was a hunting them slow elk hehehe lmao


I get that 1 all the time also even with NO HUNTING signs up


----------



## snowball (Feb 7, 2015)

somedevildawg said:


> They don't even ask here they just do it......guess they go by the mantra that it's "easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission".


I'am sorry,,, devildawg ..I didn't know that was your field.. I was just do'n some Snip hunting your sure got some big'en there


----------



## somedevildawg (Jun 20, 2011)

snowball said:


> I'am sorry,,, devildawg ..I didn't know that was your field.. I was just do'n some Snip hunting your sure got some big'en there


Lol, it's snipe hunting Sno.....ever been? Loads of fun....not for the hunter however....


----------



## FarmerCline (Oct 12, 2011)

somedevildawg said:


> Lol, it's snipe hunting Sno.....ever been? Loads of fun....not for the hunter however....


 No kidding.....last time I went I was the hunter.


----------



## snowball (Feb 7, 2015)

somedevildawg said:


> Lol, it's snipe hunting Sno.....ever been? Loads of fun....not for the hunter however....


Been many yrs since I went bagged a huge 1 when I went..... Up here we do more cow tipping than snipe hunting... which is # 25 on the list .. #26 is Smart Biscuits (a/k/a horse crap ) Dam dumb SIL needs about a bushel a day for the rest of his life


----------



## hog987 (Apr 5, 2011)

Lost track of what number we are on.
#- No iam not giving you half off if you load that bale or bales yourself.


----------



## Nitram (Apr 2, 2011)

rjmoses said:


> Like times 9!
> 
> 10) When you stop to ask for directions, get out of your car and walk over to me! Don't yell at me out the window or ask me to get off the tractor and walk over to you! I'm not the one that is lost. (Well, at least most of the time I'm not!)
> 
> Ralph


Struck a nerve! My son drives in stops in the driveway I have been working on the baler, now I'm under the baler greasing the wheels "Hey dad come here". If I wouldn't have been so ... And thought of it I should have walked over leaned in the window and gave him a big hug ! I love you son


----------



## IHCman (Aug 27, 2011)

# If the gate was closed, close it again after you drive through.


----------



## Nitram (Apr 2, 2011)

If the gate is open, close it after you drive through. I'd rather something not get out as opposed to some getting in


----------



## RockyHill (Apr 24, 2013)

realized this one had been left off our list

#? ) Thank you. . . . appreciate your ____________ (business, help, etc)

Shelia


----------

