# Life can change quick



## SCtrailrider (May 1, 2016)

This past Saturday my wife got a call from her mom, her mom's husband had not been feeling good.

A little history -- her mom lives in Missouri in Seymour, mom ( stepmom sense very young ) is on SS, and that is their only income, they are what I call poor but happy and have always done the best they could with nearly no education. We have always sent what we could when we could to help as they are 800+ miles away. My wife's kids & grands are in the Moline IL area and 8hrs away from Missouri, we aren't always able to visit both places but this past Oct we did make a point to take the long trip to see everyone. My wife never call her mom's husband " step dad " , she lost both her real mom & dad during her teens, but she has always considered Darlene her mom..

Well this past Friday she got a call from her mom, her husband hadn't been feeling very good for a while, the few times I had met him he never looked "good", kinda poorly if ya know what I mean... they went to the local doc, from there he was taken to Springfield Hospital, a very large mass in his lungs and septic ?? spelling ?? he almost instantly went into a comma, during this time from Friday afternoon my wife was in contact and asked if we needed to come, mom kept saying no he will get better, as she didn't fully understand what she was being told, she's late 70's, early 80's I'm not sure right now... anyway Tuesday around noon we get the call from mom saying she needs my wife, right now... she doesn't realize nor comprehend just how long it will take us to get there.. we leave Tuesday afternoon, I had been burning limb piles all day and had some very large piles on fire that I couldn't walk away from and wasn't expecting this so hadn't planed for it, all I could do was use a turn plow and cut fire breaks through the clearcut to prevent the fire from traveling and have the folks close by sort of watch before they went to bed, my mom & dad are on the property but are ageing and can't be depended on so to speak due to their ageing difficulty's ...

We get calls & text's all night, it takes me 15hrs to make the drive on a good day, we both weren't prepared for this long drive, and my wife doesn't feel good about driving my dually so it is always me behind the wheel... around daylight we are still 150 miles out, we are getting calls that mom is in bad shape and won't make any dissensions until we get there..

We arrive, his family is there, we are Darlene's only family that was able to get there by then, the decision was made to end it, he had never woke up and it was quick and painless. We have been making all the planes that go along with something like this, his family hasn't done much and I will leave my thoughts about that out as I'm not going there now...

So, Darlene, mom in-law, has no family other than my wife & her half brother, he lives in IL, we are in SC, so mom will be moving to SC with us, right now we are trying to figure everything out, a house full... and I mean full to almost hoarder amounts but not that bad, they rent so it can't just be left. We half to leave Sunday and leave mom here to attempt to sell, get rid of all the "stuff", and his family doesn't feel the need to help, needless to say this southern ******* has not kept my mouth shout as to what I think about them and the way they just sit back and play with the phone so I won't be getting any Christmas cards from them...

It's funny how life can change, the planes ya have for travel, even what we thought about doing this summer around the house can take a unexpected turn that we had never given any thought to.. It's all good, we have extra room's in the house, enough of everything needed, I'll be looking for more work, but I have been doing that already so no big deal and it will work out all for the good, we know the Lord will do his thing...

So, while my wife & I are mid - late 50's, we are now taking on something we had not really ever considered would ever take place, It will be something that will take some getting use to for all of us, I can't imagine how her mom feel's or thinks right now, I just know she is dependent on us as she isn't able to survive by herself. So our arms are open and we welcome the twist in life and it's just a step in a different direction for us, now there will be 3 of us going on trips, watching tv, another plate at the table, etc... it's unexpected but nothing we can't handle, it will just be a adjustment we will work through..

Thanks everyone, I haven't had anyone to talk to about this and kinda need to so I turned to you, I know we aren't the first to be dealt this hand, I guess it's something that few expect would ever come about but there is no way we could do anything other than the path we are on, I couldn't live with myself if I even though about it any other way.. that's what really pissed me off about his side of the family, they are willing to just turn there back on her and that really makes my blood boil to put it mildly....

So, we expect in a month or so we will be making yet another road trip here, more than likely I will be getting what ever is left in the house gone and clearing up what ever details remain here, the rental house, truck, etc. It's a long ride I can say.....

No real need to comment, I just needed to vent...

Chris


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## SVFHAY (Dec 5, 2008)

What's the old saying? Something about when God hears our plans for me he future he just smiles.

Your doing a great thing. You will need to keep venting in some way to keep from being bitter. I think this will be a blessing to you although it will be hard to see it as such some days. My prayers to you.


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## ozarkian (Dec 11, 2010)

Chris,

It's a small world. My farm is in the Seymour MO area. if I can be of any assistance, please feel free to contact me. 417-429-7979.


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## somedevildawg (Jun 20, 2011)

It's a test Chris....some pass, some fail...you my friend are passing with flying colors. My condolences...


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## mlappin (Jun 25, 2009)

The saying goes you're never given more than you can handle.

Have a friend thats on our dart team and was a laborer for Reith and Riley, a large paving company.

Friend was at work and somehow a roller backed up, knocked him down and basically rolled his leg right into the fresh pavement, pinched it off right below the knee, has just enough left for a below the knee prosthetic, barely.

Gets over that, then right after they get a sizable settlement for the loss of his leg the wife decides she wants a divorce&#8230;..

He got the last laugh, is now an apprentice with the operators and runs a roller on a asphalt crew, and hard as it is to believe, the judge wouldn't give the wife any of his settlement.


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## paoutdoorsman (Apr 23, 2016)

Life can definitely hit you with a curveball at any moment. How you swing at them shows a ton about a persons character, and your's is admirable Chris. Blessings and prayers for you and your wife as you work through this situation and transition.


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## Thumbtack (Jun 18, 2012)

Chris,

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

Joe Bob


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## NightFisher (Oct 10, 2016)

Chris,

You and your wife are "good people". You will get advice and comments on how you could do better from the rest of the family that did not step up during this time. Learn to ignore them for the morons that they are.


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## 2ndWindfarm (Nov 11, 2014)

Chris,

My thoughts are with you and your wife. May the Good Lord grant you the strength to weather this trial. Support one another... your wife is in the harness right next to you.


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## SCtrailrider (May 1, 2016)

Thanks everyone, we are doing good, I had a yard sale today and folks bought stuff most, including me call trash, a 10x12 building full of hoarder stuff, made 950$ off of stuff I would have and was going to through in the dumpster... I never would have believed it.. yes the Lord is with us...

We still have a house full of stuff, will have the sale tomorrow as well, then Sunday we half to leave and hope she can get some more stuff gone with no one here with her. We are setting a date of April 1 or so to be back to get her, will take time to get the paper work & ashes back and such..

We know there may be some rough times to come, for all of us but it will be much better for her and will only make my wife & I closer, if that's even possible as we have been together 8 yrs and have never had a cross word between us, and we both know this isn't going to change that at all, after the many mistakes we both have made in out past we finally found each other..

Ozarkian.. if you have a few minutes come meet up, I haven't meet anyone on this forum yet.. East Washington st in town. just ask for Chris, I'll be outside somewhere..

Thanks everyone and we thank you for the prayers ..

Chris


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## SCtrailrider (May 1, 2016)

ozarkian said:


> Chris,
> 
> It's a small world. My farm is in the Seymour MO area. if I can be of any assistance, please feel free to contact me. 417-429-7979.


If you have time for a cup of coffee come find me, east Washington st in town, ask for Chris, I'll be outside somewhere, I'd like to introduce ya to my wife... 864-764-4466


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## Thorim (Jan 19, 2015)

Prayers for you and your family Chris,the cut and measure of a man comes out when his world is crumbling about him because of nothing he did, and he steps up and does what is right not what is easy or what others would or wouldn't do...


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## ozarkian (Dec 11, 2010)

I stopped by and met Chris and his wife today. What a nice couple they are. They have a full plate ahead of them, but they appear to be farm strong. My kind of people.


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## urednecku (Oct 18, 2010)

SCtrailrider, the others have said most of what I was going to say. God bless you & your wife, you are doing what is right. Prayers for the all of you.


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## SCtrailrider (May 1, 2016)

Was good to meet with Stewart "ozarkian" today. Maybe we can meet up tomorrow and have a cup of coffee and sit and jaw some..

Things have gone so much better than we could ever have expected, the Lord works in mysterious ways for sure.

We had expected to half to leave Sunday because of not getting the mass quantity of stuff gone, low and behold people just kept coming, we were giving things away for pennies and folks were coming by the flocks, and these people were also less fortunate than most and the look in their eyes was worth it..

We will have the property cleaned out tomorrow and ready for the landlord with very little work for him to do, even have the next tenant lined up for him. We will stay here till Tuesday to do the postal address thing, and check with the bank here to see what she needs to do on this end so we won't need to come back for anything. Darlene just couldn't think about being alone here so everything has worked out great for her.

We have a few things that will be taken tomorrow and the last big thing is a portable bldg that she still owes about 1200$ on, I have offered it for 1500$ and had lots of folks that want it but haven't sold it yet, worst case is we give it back and she breaks even, it's a steel for someone to purchase at less than 1/2 price and I was hoping someone could get it instead of the company reselling it as a new one heck it's less than a year old.. but either way she will be off the hook...

Y'all have been so kind with prayers & thoughts it has really helped me to be able to have someone to talk to.

I am on several diesel truck forums but they aren't anything like this one, I enjoy this one I guess because most are down to earth country folks and work hard and enjoy what you do. I like the sense of humor here and get a laugh at a lot of the comments and I can relate with a lot of what is going on here even tho I'm a "wanttobe farmer" I'm with y'all in hart..

I'm sure things will be fine, things have so far been much better than expected, a few more days and it's back to getting something done around our place.

Thanks everyone, I'll be letting ya know how we are when we finally get home..

Chris


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## deadmoose (Oct 30, 2011)

SCtrailrider said:


> I like the sense of humor here and get a laugh at a lot of the comments and I can relate with a lot of what is going on here even tho I'm a "wanttobe farmer" I'm with y'all in hart..
> 
> I'm sure things will be fine, things have so far been much better than expected, a few more days and it's back to getting something done around our place.
> 
> ...


If you keep pretending to be a farmer, someday someone is gonna believe you that you are. And soon after that you realize you are not pretending anymore. Best of luck in your new situation. The Lord works in mysterious ways.


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## SCtrailrider (May 1, 2016)

Well we made it home about 1am this morning safe & sound.

I want to thank everyone for your thoughts & prayers, I know it helped us during the past LONG week. This has to be one of the most stressful times for me & my wife in a long long time and we came through with with very little sleep and nearly no troubles.

I haven't taken the time to "like" every post but rest assured I do !!!

When Stuart ( ozarkian ) came by my wife was confused as to how someone on this forum knew we were there and I let her read this thread, she didn't know anything about it and I explained it was just me talking & venting to like minded farmers I didn't know..

She read the thread and was amazed at the time people took that were total strangers to us.. needless to say she shed some tears along with me.. Thanks

If any of you are ever in my area and need anything at all look us up...

Thanks

Chris & Brenda

ps.. this is Suzie this morning... she is wore out also...


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## Thorim (Jan 19, 2015)

SCtrailrider said:


> Well we made it home about 1am this morning safe & sound.
> 
> I want to thank everyone for your thoughts & prayers, I know it helped us during the past LONG week. This has to be one of the most stressful times for me & my wife in a long long time and we came through with with very little sleep and nearly no troubles.
> 
> ...


Adorable picture, glad to hear you got back home safely Godspeed for the rest of your journey


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## SCtrailrider (May 1, 2016)

Low & behold, I'm being tested even more....

The whole time we were gone I would update my work place about what was going on, I go in today after we get the strength and find out I have been replaced and only would be needed part time or as needed.... and this is coming from a so called friend of 20yrs.... what a A hole... I'm a calm collected guy normally but this is starting to get beyond easy to handle right now.. I haven't told my wife yet, don't know how to, and she doesn't need the extra stress and I sure don't want the mother in law to find out, none of this is her fault and she has been through enough..

I'm a spiteful person and this so called friend is pushing me but I will hold my feelings this time, I don't need to bring anymore problems home and he will get what he deserves from someone higher than me one day..

I will work this out like we always do, it's just about the last thing I expected, I'll just brush off myself and find a new starting place, I guess the last few years have gone too good for us and for some reason we needed a different field to work in so to speak.. was looking forward to getting a good nights sleep once we got home, well it's almost 1am now, maybe next week..

keep up the prayers y'all, we can put them to good use around here...

I keep thinking about what Stuart said, farm strong... I like that, we will go down swinging for sure...

Thanks

Chris


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## RockyHill (Apr 24, 2013)

We've been following this topic and have had you all in our prayers but haven't made any comments but have agreed with all the positive responses.

I realize there is not a connection between the events going in your lives but we have a friend that started us being reminded his motto of "no good deed goes unpunished". That friend does not have the Lord in his life so his perspective differs from ours.

Sometimes it appears that when we deal with troublesome situations in a positive way that more problems follow closely -- that's not part of my encouraging words  but just reality.

Now for the encouragement. You've done the right thing caring for Darlene with the right attitude from a right heart. You and Brenda's lives are forever changed because of that and apparently you have more changes coming. Since none of the changes were of your planning, there is a great chance that the outcome will be like the way you were able to get all of the things done back in Missouri. That's the way the Lord works and isn't it great to see what He can do!

Keep on keeping on. Try to get some rest so as to deal with the stress. We'll be anxious to see the great things to come.

Shelia & Jeff


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## hcriddle (Jul 5, 2014)

Chris,

I too have been following and praying for you and your family. I know that in times like these we usually find ourselves asking a lot of "why" questions. Why this? Why now?, Why here? Why me? Why not that guy? God promises us that He causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Scripture also tells us that His purpose for His children is to conform them to the image of Christ. I am trying to learn to ask a "what" question instead of all the "why" questions. Lord what do you want to change in me to make me more like Christ? I have found that this gives me more than enough answers to keep me busy for a while so that I don't focus on the problems or the trials, I focus on the results. I pray God grants you the wisdom to see the answers for you. God bless.

Buddy


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## SCtrailrider (May 1, 2016)

Yes, we are Christians, admittedly we don't attend church like we should but I am a true believer as is Brenda..

I haven't and don't ask why, I don't dwell on the past, there's not time for that here. We know things are done for a reason and maybe this job thing is one of them, it's been quite a while but I'll get a resume put together and start checking the job center or temp services, yea it will be tough to find something even close pay wise, but money, or how much of it we have has never been on my list of things important, we had enough put aside for this round, we don't do credit or plastic and we like it that way. We are proud people and we live a slow easy life and we both will help anyone that needs help as long as they are willing to help there self if possible.. The main thing is we both don't forget family or friends, real friends that is, someone that is like minded and beliefs..

This will all work out without any doubt, I know it's a test, have seen it before and will see it again, it's nice to have a place to vent, Brenda has her friends at work, I have Y'all, we don't need anything else...

Thanks again..

Chris


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