# Memorial Stone.



## Vol (Jul 5, 2009)

So a widow woman was flying out to Vegas and she strikes up conversation with the woman passenger seated next to her. She starts telling the passenger about her late husband and the funeral preparations that they made when they learned of his imminent death. Her husband told her that he always wanted a big funeral and that he wants his wife to spend about $50,000 on his funeral. The widow woman went on to say that she agreed and spent $10,000 on funeral home expenses and $40,000 on a memorial stone. The woman passenger exclaimed that must have been a big memorial stone to which the widow replied, yes it was nearly 4 carats!

Good day!

(I tested this out on Cy earlier today.)


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## stack em up (Mar 7, 2013)

That’s hilarious. Rock Valley Hay auction sends out a twice weekly email with auction results and along with it, always a good joke. I should gather a few of them and post them, I save them all.


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## TJ Hendren (May 12, 2017)

Do it Stack. Most of the time good jokes are hard to come by.


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## Ranger518 (Aug 6, 2016)

TJ Hendren said:


> Do it Stack. Most of the time good jokes are hard to come by.


At least good clean jokes are.


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## r82230 (Mar 1, 2016)

Here's couple that got from somewhere (sorry for not remembering where).

*A preacher happened to be looking for something in his wife's desk and came across an envelope with 3 soybean seeds and $30 in it. Naturally, he had to ask her about it. His wife responded "well you know we been married a long time and I have listened to a lot of your sermons over that time. So every time you had what I though was a bad sermon I put a soybean seed into the envelope". The preacher thought to himself, umph only 3 bad sermons after all these years, not bad old boy. Curiosity got the best of him and he just had to ask about the $30. "Dear," he ask "what's the story with the $30 in the envelope?" To which his wife responded, "well every time soybeans got to $10 a bushel I sold a bushel of the beans".*

*An old farmer was out in his yard digging up a new flower bed for his wife, when his shovel hit something. He un-earthed the bottle and as he bushed it off, out came a genie. The genie told him that he was sorry but he could only grant him one wish, so think it over and choose well. The old farmer, said "you know I'm a land lover, never want to fly or go on a boat. I seen every state in the good old US but one and I would really like to see Hawaii. Could you build a bridge to Hawaii as my wish?" The genie responded, "well you know that might be a pretty tall order, with today's rules/regulations. I would have to get environmental permits, create alternate migration routes for the Blue Whales and Lord know what else could be involved". So the old farmer thought a little more and said "you know I been married to my wife for a long, long time. I lover yet today as much as I did when we first got married. They say that women are from Venus and men from Mars, so could you make it so I could better understand my wife?" The genie respond "do you want a 2 lanes or 4 lanes on that bridge?"*

Larry


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## stack em up (Mar 7, 2013)

Kudos to Paul McGill, owner of Rock Valley Hay Auction for his sense of humor.

** My 35-year old son and I had just finished our meal when I realized I'd left my wallet in my truck. As I headed out the door, I told the waitress what had happened. "But don't worry, I said with a grin. "I'm leaving my son for collateral." She looked at him. He winked at her. She turned back to me. "What else you got?"

Morris, an 82 year old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous woman on his arm. A couple days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Just doing what you said Doc! Get a hot mama and be cherrful!" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. What I said was; You've got a heart murmur. Be careful!"

** A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. I'd like to be eight again, she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!"


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## JD3430 (Jan 1, 2012)

Skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender "gimme a beer and a mop".


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## stack em up (Mar 7, 2013)

More from Rock Valley

** What if a slug is actually just a snail that went through a divorce and his wife got the house?
**Why can't you explain puns to a kleptomaniac? Because they are always taking things literally.
** What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey!
** I'm dating this wonderful girl and she has a twin. People often ask me how I can tell them apart- but it's easy, really. Jane likes to paint her fingernails and Tom has a willie.


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