# Aging gracefully



## rjmoses (Apr 4, 2010)

1. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now!

2. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

3. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

4. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.. We haven't met yet...

5. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!

6. When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment... Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation....

7. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.

8. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

9. The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes."

10. I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do the second week.

11. Even duct tape can't fix stupid... but it can muffle the sound!

12. Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

13. Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. And, I also like an intelligent conversation every once in a while. Especially with someone who knows what they're talking about.

Ralph


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## Vol (Jul 5, 2009)

Thanks for using the larger bold type. 

Regards, Mike


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## somedevildawg (Jun 20, 2011)

Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.....


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## Thorim (Jan 19, 2015)

My kids tell me am old and crotchety, told them when they get to be my age they can be crotchety too lol


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## Swv.farmer (Jan 2, 2016)

Number 13 is my favourite I tell my wife all the time I'm going out to talk to someone with a little sense so I go out to the shop and talk to my self.


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## luke strawwalker (Jul 31, 2014)

Love it! LOL

Later! OL J R


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